Paganini Caprice No. 24

因為【親切的金子】，這跳脫的音樂總令我想起復仇。

提升 ISP 至供電水平

身處 IT 部門，我很多時候都不知道同事們說什麼。但又正正因為我是個外人，沒有思想束縛完全

幸福家庭都是一樣 不幸的家庭卻各有不同

讀了舒淇在 Elle 的訪問，想起托爾斯泰的名句「幸福家庭都是一樣，不幸的家庭卻各有不同。」但我想說透過文學及藝術，我們在時空地域合縱連橫，所謂各自表述的不幸，其實也並非前無古人。

無論結論是人生如戲，還是戲如人生，沒能夠在別人的故事上看見自己可能的故事，我認為是自己天真的緣故。

「我預左」從來不是我的口頭禪。今時今日我還在思考「我預左」的意義，足見Wai Lim 對我的影響仍然龐大。

我沒有辦法一筆抹去 Wai Lim 對我的影響我也不想說我朋友想說的就是告訴大家我忘記了所有事情都過去了。為什麼我要騙自己呢？為什麼我要強作堅強討好別人說我沒有事呢？

他已經變成一個角色，在我這齣戲中猶自暗暗發光，像一隻螢火虫，夜欄人靜，便如舊患襲來。

鎂光燈下的舒淇真是強壯。所有捱出一片天的女明星都非常強壯，鏡頭前能夠時時刻刻笑面迎人是一種本領，一種堅強。

我在大埔的日子

卑微 company secretary 二三事

當然我沒有公司秘書牌，所以才會起個 XXX Limited Company 名字，差點鬧出大笑話。

幫伯伯成立的慈善基金，一個月前遞交了註冊文件，今天公司註冊署終於打電話來跟進。原來現在不叫"subscriber"，叫"signatory"。「甚麼時候改的規矩？」「都一兩年了。」公司註冊署職員給我一張文件樣本。

另外，由於我把 Memorandum and Articles 中部份有關股份轉讓的條文拿掉了，所以公司註冊署建議基金以 "a non private company limited by guarantee" 去成立。嘩，好在遲d 可以改番轉頭啫，呢d同 governance 有關，如果唔係要快趣，我真係拎番份稿再寫過。

成立慈善基金是實務工作，正如買樓一樣，最好你一手一腳做過每一個步驟，這樣你才能累積經驗。

接下來我將會經驗同稅局周旋 section 88，以及為慈善基金開立銀行戶口。

雖然我以前沾手過有關事情，但由零開始，這是第一次呀。

Rene Magritte -> safe mode

我想把 Rene Magritte 帶入公司

Ceci n’est pas une pipe (This is not a pipe) by Rene Magritte

1. 這星期我將會超級無敵忙。星期三要做一個 presentation，我今天埋首做 powerpoint，很想借 Rene Magritte 的話說話，希望成功。
2. 劉若英說：「就像我的右腿，因為幫助左腿，而傷得更重。」

張艾嘉跟我說「或許你的腿代表了你的心，因為你的心不舒服，所以你的腿一直沒好。」為了治傷，我飽讀醫療書籍，懂得她說的道理，也聽過醫療界所謂的「自我療癒」理論。我開始不去理會我身體上的疼痛與不便，開始去尋找內心真正的缺口。

比起車禍、摔跤、開刀種種帶來的痛楚，心裡的殘缺會不會遠為巨大。這是說，如果艾嘉師父所言切中要害的話。或許這一路過來，我好強，我獨立，其實是種逃避。 或許我跟很多平凡人一樣，需要一雙可以互相扶持的雙手，或甚至依靠的肩膀。就像我的右腿，因為幫助左腿，而傷得更重。我曾經以為有勇氣就可以自由自在，其 實我是否更渴望一個不用費力就能安全待着的地方？所有我曾經以為的理性、我堅持的自尊，其實也可能就是任性、冷漠、逃避？ 這樣鑽研下去真是不用活了!

The death of Marie Antoinette

Catherine Delors from Versailles and more recaptured the road of the death of Marie Antoinette, which was dated 16 Oct 1793.

I was a queen, and you took away my crown; a wife, and you killed my husband; a mother, and you deprived me of my children. My blood alone remains: take it, but do not make me suffer long.
Marie-Antoinette

16th of October 1793: execution of Marie-Antoinette

from Versailles and more by Catherine Delors

marie antoinette at the temple by prieur

After the fall of the monarchy on the 10th of August 1792, the dethroned Queen was imprisoned in the Tower of the Temple, along with her husband, Louis XVI, their children and Madame Elisabeth, the King’s younger sister.

The following December, Louis XVI stands trial before the National Convention, the elected body that now governs France. Louis is executed on the 21st of January 1793. Then, the following August, Marie-Antoinette is transferred, alone, without her children or sister-in-law Madame Elisabeth, to the jail of La Conciergerie. It is located within the premises of the main Courthouse of Paris, next to the Revolutionary Tribunal. For an ordinary prisoner that would mean that trial is imminent.

But Marie-Antoinette is no ordinary prisoner. She may have some value as a hostage in war negotiations with the Austrians, and the National Convention sends emissaries to that effect to the enemy. But Marie-Antoinette’s brothers, Joseph II and Leopold II, no longer reign over Austria. The new Holy Roman Emperor, Francis II, her nephew, has never met her. He is not ready to compromise the hopes of a victory against the French armies for the sake of an aunt he does not know.

This is the context of her transfer to La Conciergerie: the National Convention hopes to step up the pressure and show Francis II that a trial is a real possibility. To no avail: the Emperor is content to express his indignation. For the National Convention, there is political advantage in executing a hated public figure, and none in keeping her alive.

Furthermore, several escape plans, including one that took her only yards from freedom, have been hatched while Marie-Antoinette was jailed at La Conciergerie. The National Convention does not want to lose face if she managed to flee. The case is therefore set for trial before the Revolutionary Tribunal, and a preliminary hearing is held at the beginning of October.

The trial itself begins on the 14th. The accused states her name: “Marie-Antoinette de Lorraine d’Autriche.” In itself this is a very bold move: she reminds the jurors of her French paternal ancestry (Lorraine) but also, less diplomatically, of the phrase The Austrian Woman. And France is at war with Austria… For a full transcript (in French) of the trial, I direct you to the irreplaceable Royet site. I will not enter into the details of the trial, which would require its separate – and very long – post. The Tribunal remained in session 15 hours on October 14, and almost 24 hours on October 15 and 16. The transcript notes that “Antoinette almost always kept a calm and assured demeanor; during the first hours of her questioning, she was seen running her fingers on the arm of her chair, as though she were playing the pianoforte.”

In my first novel, Mistress of the Revolution, one of the main characters is Pierre-André Coffinhal, a judge of the Revolutionary Tribunal. I have him relate the trial (it was eerie to write, because I had always thought of it from Marie-Antoinette’s standpoint.)

Her main line of defense was that she was not responsible for any of her actions! She claimed she had obeyed her husband’s orders when she prepared the flight to Varennes, or when she sent the French war plans to her brother, the tyrant of Austria. Her argument might have succeeded had she been any other woman. In her case, it was common knowledge that Capet [Louis XVI] had fallen entirely under her influence, that he was a hapless imbecile without any will of his own... Of course, that jackass Hébert [representative of the Municipality of Paris] had to disgrace himself by testifying that she had taught her son to pleasure himself. You may trust that scoundrel to bring up something lewd at every opportunity. [The presiding judge] Herman, who is no fool, let it pass without questioning Antoinette on it. The rest of us judges also ignored it, but one of the jurors insisted that she respond. That gave her an opportunity to feign outrage and appeal to the public.

Marie Antoinette before the Revolutionary Tribunal

This is of course her famous response to the incest accusation: “I appeal to all mothers!” Throughout the trial, Marie-Antoinette, very pale, physically exhausted, but as imposing as ever in her patched-up black widow’s dress, defends herself with energy and dignity.

She is assisted by two famous attorneys: Chauveau-Lagarde and Tronçon-Ducoudray. When the case goes to the jury in the early hours of the 16th, the outrageous incest accusation has been dropped. Only remain the counts of treason, conspiracy and collusion with domestic and foreign enemies.

The jury retires for over one hour. This is a very long by Revolutionary Tribunal standards. Then the verdict is read: guilty on all four counts. The sentencing is immediate, and there is no appeal from the jugements of the Revolutionary Tribunal. Had Marie-Antoinette harbored any hope of a different outcome? One of her attorneys, Chauveau-Lagarde, notes that “she was like annihilated by surprise.” She silently shakes her head when the presiding judge asks her whether she has anything to add. She leaves the courtroom without a word, her head held high.

From then on, we will simply follow a timeline.

4:30 AM: Marie-Antoinette is taken back to her cell, within the Courthouse building. She feels very faint now. One of the gendarmes, Lieutenant de Busne, offers her a glass of water and his arm to go down the steep corkscrew stairs. He holds his hat in his hand as a sign of respect. Once in her cell, she is given a candle, ink and paper. She writes her famous last letter to her sister-in-law, Madame Elisabeth, a translation of which is provided by Elena at Tea at Trianon.

She also writes a few words in her prayer book:

This 16th of Oct. at 4:30 in the morning
My God, have mercy on me!
My eyes have no more tears
to weep for you my poor
children; farewell, farewell!

Marie Antoinette

7:00 AM: Rosalie Lamorlière, a young servant who has been attending to the former Queen, offers to bring her some food. “I do not need anything anymore,” responds Marie-Antoinette. “All is over for me.” Upon Rosalie’s insistence, Marie-Antoinette accepts a bowl of bouillon, but she can only swallow a few spoonfulls.

She is informed that she is not to wear her black dress to her execution. She puts on her only other remaining garment: a white cotton dress, with a black petticoat, and a white cap adorned with black ribbon. She has been bleeding profusely (she is apparently suffering from a uterine fibroma, or possibly some more serious condition) and wishes to change her shirt. She must do so, only shielded by Rosalie, in the presence of the gendarme officer who has replaced Lieutenant de Busne (the latter has been briefly arrested for showing her too much respect.) Rosalie also cuts Marie-Antoinette’s hair short on the neck. In this fashion the executioner does not have to do it himself to facilitate the operation of the guillotine.

marie antoinette led to the guillotine

10:00 AM: The prison concierge and the turnkey find Marie-Antoinette kneeling by her bed, in prayers. She rises. Soon arrive the Court clerk and the judges, who read her the sentence, as required by law. She replies that she knows it all to well, but is told that she must listen to it again.

Then enters Henri Sanson, the executioner, who ties her hands behind her back. Again she protests. Louis XVI’s hands were not tied until he reached the foot of the guillotine, but the deposed Queen will receive far less consideration than her late husband. She is taken to the clerk’s office for the last formalities.

11:00 AM: She leaves La Conciergerie and reaches the Cour du Mai, in front of the Courthouse. There an open cart, drawn by two large white horses, is waiting for her. Louis XVI had been taken to the guillotine in the enclosed carriage of the Mayor of Paris, but again she will be treated like any other convict. However, the security is out of the ordinary: 30,000 men have been called to prevent any escape.

Marie Antoinette on the cart to the guillotine David

A sworn priest (meaning a cleric who had pledged allegiance to the Constitution) accompanies her the cart, but she politely declines his services. Again this is a stark contrast with the execution of Louis XVI, who had been granted the assistance of an unsworn priest of his own choosing.

The executioner and his helper, their hats in hand in sign of respect, also climb onto the cart. It slowly makes its way through the streets of Paris, in the midst of a jeering crowd assembled to see one last time the Queen in her capital. Marie-Antoinette sits very straight in the cart, proud and calm in the face of this display of hate, contempt and anger.

12:00 PM: At last the cart reaches Place de la Révolution, where she can see both her former Palace of Les Tuileries and the guillotine. She shows a strong emotion, but soon regains her composure. She steps off the cart promptly, lightly. Without requiring any help, she climbs the steps to the scaffold. She does not oppose any resistance and even apologizes for stepping on the executioner’s foot.

12:15 PM: The blade of the guillotine falls. So dies Marie-Antoinette, two weeks before her 38th birthday.

Marie Antoinette guillotine

agatha christie

十月號的 Jet Magazine 談推理小說。其中一個雙連頁列出了古今中外推理偵探--沒有 Agatha Christie 筆下的白羅和瑪波小姐。

我實在不明白。

金田一那個悲報島的故事，是抄 Agatha Christie 的 "Ten Little Indians"。東野圭吾的【容疑者Xの獻身】那個死者不是死者的橋段，Agatha Christie 在 "The Body in the Library" 中一早做用了。

就小說而言，令我最著迷的是“ABC Murder", " A Murder is Announced"，和“ The Murder of Roger Ackroyd“。

而在白羅和瑪波小姐之間，我比較偏好後者。瑪波小姐認為人與人之間的差異是相當微小的，只要你對人生有足夠的體驗，再加上細心一點的觀察，你會發現任何人的行為都是有跡可尋的。

我喜歡觀察別人，亦對 unreconcilable 的細節非常敏感。我曾經想做 forensic accounting 的工作，但沒有機會入行。噢。

嘿。

A walk in the pink

我的新設計
蝦肉色為主，蔻丹紅為副
斗零鞋跟
但舒服得沒話說

Standard Chartered Bank rights issue

Interested to know how they will administer the action. Will they require shareholders' signatures on the forms?

跨代貧窮

行政長官曾蔭權在其施政報告說教育是減少跨代貧窮的治本之道。我看香港社會發展至今，跨代貧窮仍然嚴重，非在教育普及與否高等教育是否足夠，而在香港人在婚姻及配偶的選擇。

新加玻多年前搞優生學，為適齡市民提供約會上床貼士。我們香港傳媒嘀咕彼邦乜都管。

所謂港男港女不單是個社會現象。香港男人唔鐘意香港女人覺得靚既其他地方大把；香港女人唔鐘意香港男人覺得叻既係自己。這不只是高登 VS she.com 的問題，在人口政策立場，這是一個對未來社會結構有深遠影響的 factor。

跨代貧窮其實是因為社會上有些人沒能夠進化，我反而不覺得跨代貧窮與 social upward mobility 有關。

論 social upward mobility，我本人的經驗是香港社會仍然是遍地機會。當然你要裝備自己，你才能乘風而起。

緣份

因為一些原因，Wai Lim 沒有參與我的中區置業計劃，倒是蕭律師成為我的投資伙伴。那出租的物業價格一直向上，租客又好。蕭律師和他的超級女強人老闆說起這投資，老闆也說買得好。

剛才坐蕭律師的車回家，說起此事，我有些悵然。如果如果當時Wai Lim 參與，我和他的將來會否有所不同？

世事很 sliding doors，如果這樣，如果那樣。