星期四, 11月 27, 2008

給我一個支點,我可以舉起全世界。

1.
對呀,我不會以為自己安全抵櫐了。所以我說:只是暫時告一段落而已。

2.
魔術師引述同事A說:「不是我沒有用,只是公司暫時不需要我。」我銘記,以備不時之需。

3.
手上這個項目,我真的一籌莫展。是因為手上這個項目,我才發現自己的思維,原來也有個框框。

4.
還好我有這個覺悟。有覺悟,才有望打破。

5.
一籌莫展,不知是否因為我接觸過太多巨人,所以時時刻刻都記住/自覺自己很渺小,大事輪不到自己去做。

6.
催眠自己:給我一個支點,我可以舉起全世界。

閒話家常

中學校長陳修女生日,我致電祝賀。掛線前修女說:「七十你俾你個email我丫,我最近鍾意forward d 有意義的 powerpoint 俾人呀。」

星期二, 11月 25, 2008

且看後事如何

一星期前:男子邀請與其女兒及另外兩名朋友聽音樂會。
一天前 :男子說不如在音樂會前在就近酒店晚餐。婉拒。
當夜 :男子在演奏廳前介紹其七歲女兒,並說另外兩名朋友已經自行入座。

星期日, 11月 23, 2008

A Cookery Holiday

孔少林寫過現代女性要去旅行,要去得有品味有內涵有深度。我初讀不以為然,但隨年紀漸長,竟另有一番體會。

日子有限,金錢有限。上趟無計劃布拉格之旅回來埋單計數原來用了差不多三萬港元,我便想,丫下次出遠門真的要諗諗如何提高 return of investment,才可令消費更加有價值有意義。

之前提及過的索邦大學法文課,每年春季開課,為時兩個月。兩個月,那加上前後遊玩的時間,全程豈不是要三個月?假期雖多,三個月的旅行卻恐怕要等下次轉工才可以成行了。

退而求其次,我打算下年六月放假三週去上一個烹飪課程,趣趣地三萬港元應該足以應付。上網看資料,意國有,法國也有,而意國比法國平宜。其實我既不懂法文亦不懂意大利文,不過我相信語言方面我應該也應付得來。許多年前我曾經短暫地寄宿於意大利家庭,男女主人不太說英語,但靠身體語言,數天下來眾人相安無事之餘,我還十分享受簡靜的生活。

說起旅行,因見雙親年紀老邁,所以慫恿妹妹們一起儲蓄,希望明年下半年舉家到北海道一遊。若然成事,則我會將赴歐計劃順延,改為在與家人旅遊後自己再到北海道牧場體驗生活。一舉兩得,豈不美哉?

星期六, 11月 22, 2008

烽火臺

是日明報副刊說烽火臺。

我念大學時十分潛水。從頭到尾,我一個 O function 都沒有參加過。但大學或時代的烽火,並非與我無關。打個比喻,如下:


天天飛揚先生是我在大學時代喜歡一同吹水的朋友之一。畢業後,我們見面聚舊,他會問我:「喂,你現在的理想是什麼?」。他週日結婚,星期四我們吃最後的午餐。我問他「喂,你現在的理想是什麼?」,他有那麼千萬分之一秒的呆滯,然後極其自然地說:「都有既~」,跟著便低頭繼續吃他的海鮮飯。

青春小鳥一去不復返。

又引述黎堅惠之言:青春不在於皮光肉滑,而在於隨心所欲,去尋找屬於自己的真善美。

突然又想起蘇鑰機教授在知道剛畢業的我希望投身 ngo 時,介紹了樂施會的一位副(or 助理?)總幹事給我認識,讓我去打探一下在 ngo 工作,會是什麼的一回事。現在想起來,才明白教授的心意。

又當然,我當年,不聽老人言。

星期四, 11月 20, 2008

要證明 A 引致 B ,比證明 A 和 B 相關更為困難。

試圖將死者自殺原因歸一。科學研究人員找到 A 和 B 相關,但不會因為 A 發生在 B 之前而說 A 是 B 的解釋。要證明 A 引致 B ,比證明 A 和 B 相關更為困難。」

A 引致 B ,是causal relationship;A 和 B 相關,則是 correlation。

我想自殺的原因,除非死者留下遺書,否則真是「百辭莫辯」。又當然,人心這樣暗,遺書所言是否事實並事實之全部,就更是諗爆你這個外人的頭,都一無所得。況且,那所謂事實並事實之全部,可能連死者亦不願意不敢面對,不然,這條絕路也不用行了。

又再當然,身處絕境,絕非身處絕路。境,是一個空間,夠晒轉身回頭是岸有餘!

星期二, 11月 18, 2008

老吾老

在樓下看見一位老婆婆獨個兒在空地的長椅上,迎著寒風捧著一盒外賣飯盒。我心裡一慼,便多望了她兩眼。

上樓甫打開大門,麗口便一疊聲說起此事,她說當她眼見此情此景,內心也是一慼。

可會是老婆婆的家人刻薄她,不供應充足飯餸?又可會是老婆婆的家人時常叱責她,令婆婆不願意回家?

當然,亦可能是婆婆正跟家人鬥氣鬧情緒。

但願,不是前兩項。

星期六, 11月 15, 2008

Defense Mechanisms

在 karen sze 那兒與篤兄相認,原來彼此曾經是同事!(well,我七年間做過七份工喇)篤兄仁慈,問我那時的上司那麼嚴厲,可有驚惶?

嗯,我上班一星期便出了一個 event,做十樣野錯十樣野,結果在 event 完結時我非常難過,流下淚來。

其實我不是怕俾人鬧,怕上司惡(事實上她雖然嚴厲,但卻是一位心地極好的資深社工)。我是不能面對失敗的自己。

同事和我聊起過公司的煙腸,說不明白為何他好像從不知錯,我靈光一閃,這條高GPA的煙腸,是否一時之間不能面對失敗的自己?

初出茅廬(當然煙腸唔算出茅廬)者,常常氣盛而輕狂。出了錯,有些人如我會透過哭泣宣洩情緒,有些人則會透過形形色色的 self defense mechanisms 來令自己好過。

如果我身邊有一時之間能面對失敗的自己的朋友或工作伙伴,我會將我自己相關的故事與他們分享,並且鼓勵他們振作。一如那時候,我那嚴厲的上司拍拍我的膊頭,告訴我:「你已經 pick up 得很快,多給自己一點時間吧!」

Defense Mechanism
Level 1

The mechanisms on this level, when predominating, almost always are severely pathological. These three defences, in conjunction, permit one to effectively rearrange external reality and eliminate the need to cope with reality. The pathological users of these mechanisms frequently appear crazy or insane to others. These are the "psychotic" defences, common in overt psychosis. However, they are found in dreams and throughout childhood as healthy mechanisms.

They include:

* Denial: Refusal to accept external reality because it is too threatening; arguing against an anxiety-provoking stimulus by stating it doesn't exist; resolution of emotional conflict and reduction of anxiety by refusing to perceive or consciously acknowledge the more unpleasant aspects of external reality.

* Distortion: A gross reshaping of external reality to meet internal needs.

* Delusional Projection: Grossly frank delusions about external reality, usually of a persecutory nature.

Level 2

These mechanisms are often present in adults and more commonly present in adolescence. These mechanisms lessen distress and anxiety provoked by threatening people or by uncomfortable reality. People who excessively use such defences are seen as socially undesirable in that they are immature, difficult to deal with and seriously out of touch with reality. These are the so-called "immature" defences and overuse almost always lead to serious problems in a person's ability to cope effectively. These defences are often seen in severe depression and personality disorders. In adolescence, the occurrence of all of these defences is normal.

These include:

* Fantasy: Tendency to retreat into fantasy in order to resolve inner and outer conflicts.

* Projection: Projection is a primitive form of paranoia. Projection also reduces anxiety by allowing the expression of the undesirable impulses or desires without becoming consciously aware of them; attributing one's own unacknowledged unacceptable/unwanted thoughts and emotions to another; includes severe prejudice, severe jealousy, hypervigilance to external danger, and "injustice collecting". It is shifting one's unacceptable thoughts, feelings and impulses within oneself onto someone else, such that those same thoughts, feelings, beliefs and motivations are perceived as being possessed by the other.

* Hypochondriasis: The transformation of negative feelings towards others into negative feelings toward self, pain, illness, and anxiety.

* Passive aggression: Aggression towards others expressed indirectly or passively.

* Acting out: Direct expression of an unconscious wish or impulse without conscious awareness of the emotion that drives that expressive behavior.

* Idealization: Subconsciously choosing to perceive another individual as having more positive qualities than he or she may actually have.

Level 3

These mechanisms are considered neurotic, but fairly common in adults. Such defences have short-term advantages in coping, but can often cause long-term problems in relationships, work and in enjoying life when used as one's primary style of coping with the world.

These include:

* Displacement: Defence mechanism that shifts sexual or aggressive impulses to a more acceptable or less threatening target; redirecting emotion to a safer outlet; separation of emotion from its real object and redirection of the intense emotion toward someone or something that is less offensive or threatening in order to avoid dealing directly with what is frightening or threatening. For example, a mother may yell at her child because she is angry with her husband.

* Dissociation: Temporary drastic modification of one's personal identity or character to avoid emotional distress; separation or postponement of a feeling that normally would accompany a situation or thought.

* Isolation: Separation of feelings from ideas and events, for example, describing a murder with graphic details with no emotional response.

* Intellectualization: A form of isolation; concentrating on the intellectual components of a situation so as to distance oneself from the associated anxiety-provoking emotions; separation of emotion from ideas; thinking about wishes in formal, affectively bland terms and not acting on them; avoiding unacceptable emotions by focusing on the intellectual aspects (e.g. rationalizations).

* Reaction Formation: Converting unconscious wishes or impulses that are perceived to be dangerous into their opposites; behavior that is completely the opposite of what one really wants or feels; taking the opposite belief because the true belief causes anxiety. This defence can work effectively for coping in the short term, but will eventually break down.

* Repression: Process of pulling thoughts into the unconscious and preventing painful or dangerous thoughts from entering consciousness; seemingly unexplainable naivety, memory lapse or lack of awareness of one's own situation and condition; the emotion is conscious, but the idea behind it is absent.

Level 4

These are commonly found among emotionally healthy adults and are considered the most mature, even though many have their origins in the immature level. However, these have been adapted through the years so as to optimize success in life and relationships. The use of these defences enhances user pleasure and feelings of mastery. These defences help the users to integrate conflicting emotions and thoughts while still remaining effective. Persons who use these mechanisms are viewed as having virtues.

These include:

* Altruism: Constructive service to others that brings pleasure and personal satisfaction

* Anticipation: Realistic planning for future discomfort

* Humor: Overt expression of ideas and feelings (especially those that are unpleasant to focus on or too terrible to talk about) that gives pleasure to others. Humor, which explores the absurdity inherent in any event, enables someone to call a spade a spade, while "wit" is a form of displacement (see above under Category 3). Wit refers to the serious or distressing in a humorous way, rather than disarming it; the thoughts remain distressing, but they are 'skirted round' by the witticism.

* Identification: The unconscious modeling of one's self upon another person's character and behavior

* Introjection: Identifying with some idea or object so deeply that it becomes a part of that person

* Sublimation: Transformation of negative emotions or instincts into positive actions, behavior, or emotion

* Suppression: The conscious process of pushing thoughts into the preconscious; the conscious decision to delay paying attention to an emotion or need in order to cope with the present reality; able to later access uncomfortable or distressing emotions and accept them

Source from Wiki。

我那本寫滿筆記的 psy textbook 入了倉,下次搬屋有望把它翻出來然後在上文每個 mechanism 後面加番d 例子作說明。

看房子-西西的奇趣建築之旅

誠然一如黎堅惠所說,建築空間影響人的心情。

剛出來社會工作不久,我在新浦崗上過一個月的班。那是一棟生長在林林工廠大廈的夾縫中的丁級商業大廈。辦公室是一層中的小小一隅,幾近封閉的一個單位。辦公室唯一的窗戶,在女MD的房間。

那時上班我便常常有凄涼的感覺,好像一個居港的越南船民,不見天日之餘,住處是三層碌架床的中間一層,連夜來輾轉反側也要畏首畏尾,怕驚動了不相干的旁人。

星期三, 11月 12, 2008

いつかまたここで

(努力待續)

し  し   とお  
知らず知らず 遠くまで
き      たびた  にち   
来てしまったよ 旅立った日から
   あ 
めぐり逢えた 数知れぬ人々の顔
消えない景色
何ひとつ欠けても 駄目なんだよ
今きみと ともにいる この場所が好き
生きてれば 会えるだろう いつかまたここで
いつかまたここで
今日一日を精いっぱい やり遂げるなら
悔いはないだろう
今日の自分を 思い出す時
きれいな涙 流せるように
うまくいかなくても やめない
今きみと ともにいる この場所が好き
思いきり 抱きあいたい いつかまたここで
太陽の下でも 凍える雨でも 強くかたくなった絆
愛すべきは仲間 たとえ去っていっても(忘れない)
情熱を なくさずに 歩き続けて
傷ついて つかれ果て 愛を知らされて(たどり着いた)
今きみと ともにいる この場所が好き
生きてれば 会えるだろう いつかまたここで

いつかまたここで

星期一, 11月 10, 2008

走刀口暫告一段落 之 搏到單車變摩托

經過各方業內人士打不死的努力後,死都拗番生,終於搏到單車變摩托!

(clap clap clap)

而中環之咒,亦暫告一段落。

星期五, 11月 07, 2008

秋津溫泉

失眠,心跳得很快。

藥已吃完,我也樂得已經吃完。明天是歡樂星期五,我應該能夠撐得下去。

想起【秋津溫泉】,想起岡田茉莉子。

二次大戰日本侵華戰爭尾聲生病的男主角掙扎要回到舊地秋津溫泉去等死,卻遇上了溫泉旅館太子女岡田茉莉子。有食有住有靚女衣不解帶地照顧,真係俾你你都唔想死啦,於是,男子痊癒過來。

身體搞好了心理問題還是未解決。男子是文字工作者,屈曲不得意的那種。岡田茉莉子青春活潑笑臉動人,男子仍然鬱鬱不落。

男子不辭而別,離開了秋津溫泉離開了岡田茉莉子離開了初萌荳牙夢。

一別三年,男子重回秋津溫泉,他在酒吧喝酒。男子向岡田茉莉子示愛,又要岡田茉莉子跟他一起自殺。岡田茉莉子答應了,跳崖的行動卻最後給岡田茉莉子用笑聲撥去了千斤重。

男子再次不辭而別。

三年後, 男子又回到秋津溫泉,在藝妓與酒肉種種之後他告訴岡田茉莉子已跟友人的妹妹結了婚。

四年後,男子第四次來到秋津溫泉, 打算在上東京工作前與岡田茉莉子道別。夜裡,二人做愛(終於)。事後岡田茉莉子在浸浴時把兩手伸長,滿足地笑了。隔天一早,男子卻又靜悄俏地離開岡田茉莉子。岡田茉莉子起床不見了男子,便在雨後粉荷和服外罩一件通花披肩,叫來的士追上去。岡田茉莉子欲斷難斷,男子言詞閃爍之餘,還是撇下了岡田茉莉子。

七年後,男子第五次到訪秋津溫泉。今非昔比,岡田茉莉子已把溫泉旅館賤賣,母親亦已離世,岡田茉莉子無人無物,連浸浴也得借別人的地方。岡田茉莉子對男子說:「讓我們死吧。」男子當然沒有應允,亦當然和岡田茉莉子上了床。第二天早上, 岡田茉莉子送男子離開, 在他走遠時以男子前一晚修臉用的剃刀割脈自殺。

昭和二十年の夏、岡山県の山奥の温泉場“秋津荘"の娘新子は、河本周作を自殺から救った。周作は東京の学生だが、暗い時代に絶望し、体は結核に冒され、岡 山の叔母を頼ってやって来たのだった。新子と周作の関係はこれから始まった。

それから三年、周作は再び秋津にやって来た。荒んだ生活に蝕まれた体の療養だ が、岡山の文学仲間と酒を飲み歩き、終いには新子に「一緒に死んでくれ」と頼んだ。そんな周作に惹かれる新子は、二人で心中を図った。しかし、新子の余り にも清い健康な心に周作は、生きることの美しさを取り戻し帰っていった。

昭和二十六年周作はまた秋津にやって来た。女中のお民から知らせをうけて新子の心 は弾んだ。周作は文学仲間松宮の妹晴枝と結婚したことを告げて帰っていった。それでも新子は、周作を忘れられなかった。

二人が出逢ってから十年目、四度び 周作がやって来たのは、別れを告げるためだった。松宮の紹介で東京の出版社に勤めることになったのだ。その夜二人は初めて肉体の関係を持った。

昭和三十七 年、周作は四十一歳。都会生活の悪い面だけを吸収した神経の持主と変ってしまった周作が、松宮の取材旅行の随行員として五たび秋津にやって来た。周作は料 理屋の女将お民をみてびっくりした。お民から新子は“秋津荘"を銀行に売り、母親にも死なれて孤独でいることを聞いた。新子は翌晩、周作の旅館に訪ねて来 た。二人は静かに酒を飲んだ。その晩、初めて新子は自分から「一緒に死んで」と頼んだ。俗悪な中年男となっている周作は、一笑にふし、肉体の交わりだけに 溺れた。翌朝、新子は周作を送ってから、剃刀で手首を切った。知らせを受けて周作が引返した時は、新子は安らかな死顔をみせて、三十四年の生涯に鮮やかな 終止符をうっていた。

【秋津溫泉】裡的岡田茉莉子一味付出,男子不負責任之餘更妄顧岡田茉莉子的情感。岡田茉莉子是很傻,她的付出很不上算。

不過,這是岡田茉莉子自決的選擇。她寧願去愛。況且,她有條件去愛,她有條件去供應男子的生活需要。

嗯,魔術師說我鼻樑不夠挺,不會嫁到有錢人。

嗯嗯,何謂有錢人?劉先生那種?

如果我的目標是那樣,我隨時可以「拋個身出來」。那種 customer group,我是 accessible 的。
而對方是否有錢,是相對的--相對我自己,有幾多錢?但實情是,收入多我50% 可能已經係1σ頭2σ尾--當然不算
有錢人,但絕對是有能力掙取 decent income 的人。

這對我來說已經足夠了。

2008年的我,心裡亦住了個
岡田茉莉子。我不怕別人說我鼻樑不夠挺我不能嫁個有錢人,因為我不太介意(即係不免從俗少少地啦咁)是否嫁個有錢人,我只在乎我是否能夠有條件去做自決的選擇

這也是我的存在主義。

星期四, 11月 06, 2008

Obama's Victory Speech

(藥物影响呀藥物影响呀)
(不過呢,嗯,我終於得左)
(所以應該會正常番架啦呵呵呵)
(唉安眠藥真係食得我好辛苦)
(其實壓力大真係唔係來自「冇」,而係來自唔知「有」定「冇」。兩年前太陽先生跟我說創業之苦來自講不出聲的「未知」,我家下明咩係果種「未知」)
(要放番一兩日假外遊一下先)

CHANGE HAS COME

Hello, Chicago.

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voices could be that difference.

It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled - Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It's the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America.

PARTNERS IN THE JOURNEY

A little bit earlier this evening I received an extraordinarily gracious call from Senator McCain. He fought long and hard in this campaign, and he's fought even longer and harder for the country he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine. We are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader.

I congratulate him, I congratulate Governor Palin, for all they have achieved, and I look forward to working with them to renew this nation's promise in the months ahead.

I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on that train home to Delaware, the vice-president-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.

And I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years, the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation's next first lady, Michelle Obama. Sasha and Malia, I love you both more than you can imagine, and you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House.

And while she's no longer with us, I know my grandmother is watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight, and know that my debt to them is beyond measure. To my sister Maya, my sister Auma, all my other brothers and sisters - thank you so much for all the support you have given me. I am grateful to them.

To my campaign manager David Plouffe, the unsung hero of this campaign, who built the best political campaign in the history of the United States of America. My chief strategist David Axelrod, who has been a partner with me every step of the way, and to the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics - you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you've sacrificed to get it done.

VICTORY FOR THE PEOPLE

But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to - it belongs to you.

I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington - it began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston.

It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give $5 and $10 and $20 to the cause.

It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy; who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep; it grew strength from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on the doors of perfect strangers; from the millions of Americans who volunteered, and organised, and proved that more than two centuries later, a government of the people, by the people and for the people has not perished from the Earth.

This is your victory.

THE TASK AHEAD

I know you didn't do this just to win an election and I know you didn't do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime - two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century.

Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us.

There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after their children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage, or pay their doctor's bills, or save enough for their child's college education. There is new energy to harness and new jobs to be created; new schools to build and threats to meet and alliances to repair.

REMAKING THE NATION
The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term, but America - I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you - we as a people will get there.

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president, and we know that government can't solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree.

And above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation the only way it's been done in America for 221 years - block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

ONE NATION, ONE PEOPLE

What began 21 months ago in the depths of winter cannot end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek - it is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It cannot happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice.

So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism; of service and responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves, but each other. Let us remember that if this financial crisis taught us anything, it's that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers - in this country, we rise or fall as one nation; as one people.

Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House - a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity.

Those are values that we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours: "We are not enemies, but friends… though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection."

And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn - I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your president too.

AMERICA IN THE WORLD

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world - our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand.

To those who would tear the world down - we will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security - we support you.

And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright - tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope.

For that is the true genius of America - that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

A HISTORY OF STRUGGLE

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight is about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing - Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons - because she was a woman and because of the colour of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America - the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes, we can.

At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes, we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes, we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbour and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes, we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "we shall overcome". Yes, we can.

A man touched down on the Moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes, we can.

THIS IS OUR MOMENT

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves - if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment.

This is our time - to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth - that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: yes, we can.

Thank you, God bless you, and may God bless the United States of America.

++++
這令我想起:

It won't be easy, you'll think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
That I still need your love after all that I've done
You won't believe me
All you will see is a girl you once knew
Although she's dressed up to the nines
At sixes and sevens with you

I had to let it happen, I had to change
Couldn't stay all my life down at heel
Looking out of the window, staying out of the sun
So I chose freedom
Running around, trying everything new
But nothing impressed me at all
I never expected it to

Don't cry for me Argentina
The truth is I never left you
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept my promise
Don't keep your distance

And as for fortune, and as for fame
I never invited them in
Though it seems to the world they were all I desired
They are illusions
They're not the solutions they promised to be
The answer was here all the time
I love you and hope you love me

Don't cry for me Argentina

Don't cry for me Argentina
The truth is I never left you
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept my promise
Don't keep your distance

Have I said too much?
There's nothing more I can think of to say to you
But all you have to do is look at me
To know that every word is true

Don't cry for me Argentina
++++

鋼琴教師

上星期在monster sushi 梁小姐為我慶生,我們共酌了一支「美少年清酒」,有趣有趣。

昨晚我心情不好,十時多一個人上monster sushi。吃過數碟壽司後,我打量一下身傍這一位獨酌的陌生男子。他一身西服,給我的感覺滿似 last friends 內的錦戶亮。他的清酒喝完了,瓶內空空的,我便對他說:「如果我點一支『美少年清酒』,你會否陪我共酌?「美少年清酒」酒精高達十七度,我一個人應付不來。」他對我微笑,並點了點頭。

酒來了,我為他添酒,亦打開了話匣子。他說他是一名鋼琴教師。他說他在演藝進修過兩年,卻不道是 APA = 演藝。他說 Paganini 不適合用鋼琴彈奏。

酒喝完了,我便呼召結賬,起身和鋼琴教師道別,然後邁著大步從他視線中消失了。

走刀口

中學同學的飯局,雖然早退了,早回家了,但我還是睡不著。

我很亢奮,因為事情會仍在爭持,我還在走刀口。

當然,下週一二之間那個傍晚,大局一定會定下來。

我這趟走刀口,很有game theory 的味道。

星期一, 11月 03, 2008

星期六, 11月 01, 2008

小兒救命

關於正能量
そら醫生心口寫個「勇」字,便開設了一間廿四小時的兒科醫院。

醫院其中一位醫生育有幼兒,所以只當日更,其他醫生起哄,そら醫生說:「夜診重要,日診也一樣重要,夜診加日診,才是廿四小時。」

有醫生擔心醫院一開波就廿四小時,怕そら醫生這個年輕院長應付不來,そら醫生說:「頑張ります。」

資深的醫生數說そら醫生:「你一個人橫衝直撞,是否沒有出事便認為okay?」我也是個 gamcholia (監粗而黎)的人,所以此話對我來說,很深刻。

關於醫生
我景仰醫生們。那五年的醫科學習,兩年的臨床實習,是對個人意志的一個大考驗。(俾我實中途放棄。)(唉,當初我連四年的法律科程也卻步。)(唉唉,家下再讀咪又係要咁多年。)(唉唉唉)

在面臨考驗時,在需要堅定自己意志時,我會重讀知廣醫生所寫的【我是實習醫生】及【我仍是實習醫生】(嘿!)。
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