星期一, 5月 30, 2011

你怕有朝一日,你會忘記了這份沉重嗎?

星期六, 5月 28, 2011

single point of failure

我把玩他的車匙:「怎麼有三條匙這麼多的呢?」

他定睛在看電視,口裡隨意說:「spare 吖嘛另外果兩條。」

" oh you are turning something spare into a single point of failure."

星期四, 5月 26, 2011

好歌贈給你,那個給我源源不絕安全感的人。你廣闊的胸懷,是我棲息的堡壘。

星期五, 5月 06, 2011

A Letter from the West about the Past

Sonia,

I’m saddened to hear the news of your father’s passing.


Your father was a good man. I will miss him. Although I didn’t get to talk to him the other day, I’m glad that I was able to see a glimpse of him via the computer video.


From as far as I can remember, your father was with my family. I don’t know how I come into possession of it but I have one very old photo of him taken on the roof of the building (at Cheung Sha Wan Rd.) where I and my brothers and sisters grew up as children. In the photo was your father, my older sister, older brother, Memfus and I. Memfus was sitting in a tricycle and your father was squatting down with one hand on my shoulder and the other on the tricycle. I was probably 4 years old. He was a handsome young man probably in his mid-20s. He was like an older brother or a young uncle to me. We’ve always addressed him as brother Chiu.


When I was young, my family used to have outings at certain festivals…not very often as the factory stayed open nearly every day of the year. I do remember that for Dragon Boat Festival we used to go to some fishing village in NT to watch dragon boat races and have hot spicy sea food (clams, shrimps, crabs, etc.); it was an all-day affair. Your father was a good swimmer and he would always have a good time swimming during these outings. As a young boy, naturally I was very impressed by that.


He was a very good fisherman as well. On many occasions, he would take me and Memfus fishing and show us how to tie hooks and all the little intricacies with fishing. I remember that he would always catch fish. In those days, my father was always too busy with his business and had little play time for us so I was fortunate to have your father to fill in some of these gaps. From what I learned from your father about fishing, I’ve taught my sons how to fish when they were young. As I mentioned before, your father introduced me to swimming: how to tread water, swim on my back, on my side, etc. I don’t know how he learned to swim but he was very good at it.


He loved the outdoors and nature. At one time, he kept quite a large number of pigeons (20 to 30) on the roof at Apliu Street. He was very good at it: he built a nice cage for them with little partitions for them to lay eggs and so on. He would feed them, wash and clean the cage, let pigeons out every day. It was fascinating and a never ending source of entertainment for us children watching these pigeons. On top of that, we would have pigeons for dinner every now and then.

There are a few other things about your father that came to mind: he was from a different part of Kwangtung province, therefore, he used to speak Cantonese with a funny and cute accent though I think he had probably lost most of his accent over the years. His craft was in making ivory balls and he was very good at that. I remember spending hours watching him work those ivory balls and make intricate layers out of a solid piece of ivory. He was also a very handy person and was good at figuring out how things work and how to fix things. He loved to tinker with electrical and mechanical things when he wasn’t working with ivory. Like most people in those days, he smoked but I don’t remember him as a heavy smoker.

He enjoyed alcohol every now and then but never drank irresponsibly. One could always tell when he had had alcohol because his face would turn red and he would be much more talkative. For a few years, my father used to hold a banquet on his birthday. It was really an occasion for the factory to get some time off and have some fun. I remember your father along with my uncle would get into some of those wild drinking contests…lots of laughs; we children would have a really good laugh about these silly grown adults.

He didn’t gamble much and he had absolutely no interest in mahjong at all, which was rather unusual as just about everyone played mahjong in those days. He would go home to mainland China every so often to visit his family. In those days, traveling to China was not a simple thing like today. I do remember that it was during one of these trips that your father got married and years later he brought your mother to Hong Kong.

I left Hong Kong in 1973 and was busy with my life so there’s a long time when I was really out of touch with your father. Although we have spoken on the phone a few times around Chinese New Year and he would fill me in what you and your sisters were up to. The last time I saw him was probably 5 years ago during one of my trips to Hong Kong. My mother, my older brother, Memfus and I had lunch with your father, my uncle and a few old family friends from the good o’days. I probably have some photos somewhere from that lunch.


Your father was a good man: hard-working, honest, loyal, cheerful, full of energy and had a good heart. I have very fond memories of him and I will miss him. You and your sisters should be very proud having him as a father.


Losing someone we love is indeed sad but it is a fact of life, the cycle of life. All we can do is to hold on to our memories of him and celebrate his life.


Please give my condolences to your mother and your sisters. (Sorry I didn’t write in Chinese as it would have probably taken me days to write in Chinese because I’m very out of practice.)


Barry

星期四, 5月 05, 2011

當時我在用 iPad 讀【文匯報】一篇關於【紅樓夢】中的幾位女子的文章,行文至襲人一段時,細細妹及契姐姐輕呼起來,我放下iPad ,湊到父親病榻前,只見已經昏迷了一整天的他好像有點意識。姊妹們用棉花棒沾水給父親淺嚐。不一回兒,父親呼吸開始漸弱,細細妹連忙把媽媽喚入病房,我則走出去向護士報告。護士為父親接上心電圖機,隨著媽媽為父親合上眼瞼,心電圖便是一行直線。

大家都流了眼淚,包括契姐姐年輕的兒子。媽媽要我帶領大家禱告。我這個 former KATSO Chairlady,便捏著喉,引領家人一同為父親祈禱。我當時一邊領經,一邊在幻想父親的靈魂是否在以光速飛昇,還是尚在人間徘佪著,打著轉。

其後基叔叔趕到醫院,和我商量父親的身後事宜。此時理性的我完全取締了感性的那個我。我應用我在IT同事身上所學到的flowchart,critical process,checklist,mindmap 等等的思考方法,去籌劃喪禮事宜及訂立communication protocal。在IT這四年的工作經驗,訓練了我成為一個臨危不亂的command centre。

非常感謝基叔叔陪我們渡過這個下午。如果只有我們五個女人,都不知會不會你喊我又喊,亂成一團。

也感謝君叔叔於星期天攜同師太駕臨病房,為病房平添許多笑聲。還有雲姐姐和群姐姐的關切問候。以及達叔叔,雖然WebEx方案最終行不通(不過WebEx收我很多錢呀!),但你在email中提起父親青年時代與你們一起放風箏游泳去的種種往事,令我們感到前事依依,溫暖無限。

還有小劍媽媽的來訪,誠然是對我們母親的一種心理支持。

我的白色LV銀包現在有兩張身份証,一張是我的,一張是父親的。

我很喜歡這個有關耶穌的故事:有一個人夢見和耶穌在沙灘上走,回首過去,看見沙灘上留下兩行足印,似乎主耶穌一直與他同走人生之旅。但是,他發現在他最艱難最痛苦最軟弱的那些時刻,沙灘上卻只有一雙足跡。這個人不禁質問主耶穌竟為什麼在他最艱難痛苦的歲月裡離他而去。主耶穌回答這個人說:「親愛的孩子,你看見的那一行足印是我的。因為在你最痛苦軟弱時,是我背起你走。」

事實亦証明一切皆有祂為我安排。如果我不是在轉職中,我不會放假,那麼這個星期我根本就不能在父親床前守候。

還有我得多謝梁小姐,一年前你提醒我父親年紀老邁,要開始好好想一想,做心理準備。我便開始思考 contingency。所以,當事情真的發生了,我沒有發癲。
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...