一九八九年六月四日

風聲雨聲讀書聲，聲聲入耳
家事國事天下事，事事關心

Cashflow and Asset

It is as important as

Crying in the day and smiling at the dawn

Frustration continued. Tears took a race on my face when it was sunset time. That's my way let go the frustration.

Contentment continued. Fancy dreams occupied my sleeping hours. I saw a shark watermelon so I smiled. Then I woke up. It was 5:30 in the morning.

And you slept like a baby aside. 

Save my kisses for you

[Chorus:]
Save your kisses for me
show me how you miss me
all so easily
my lovin
save your kisses for me
cos I don't wanna be
A summer love thing

The way of your touch is always heavenly
and I love the way that you're loving me
You wrapped me up in the color of your love
you must be an angel high from above

[Bridge:]
How can I be sure that you won't go and what will be

[Chorus]

Are you gonna be there when I need someone
and will I be always just the only one
I don't wanna have just another heartbreak
So tell me is your love true or a fake

[Bridge]

[Chorus]

[Middle:]
One kiss, one love, one word
one vow and nothing more
One night, one dream, gonna save it save it for me

[Chorus]

Remeron

五年前寫下了失眠的文章，記低服藥的經驗，五年後情況有文血清因為失眠，Remeron 是我不敢再

午後BB

陽光透過窗紗滲進來，開了冷氣的屋子清涼閒恬。滿屋的小雜物雖然稍為凌亂，但這才是一個生氣凜然的家。

飽吃一頓雲吞，我想睡個午覺，便倚著BB床發呆。誰知你忽然甦醒了。你用力的睜開眼睛，眼皮撐來撐去就是撐不開。我便捉著你的小手搖晃著。你彷彿知道我在陪你玩耍，便半瞇著眼睛，笑了。你的笑是這樣的明媚，眼尾拖著長長的睫毛笑成兩彎月亮，小嘴凹進胖胖的面珠，下巴兜兜，極為逗趣。你終於張大了眼睛，且手舞足蹈起來。你圓起小嘴，咕嚕咕嚕地叫。哈哈哈，我打從心裡陪你笑起來。

一個又乖又趣緻的baby，不哭鬧，睡醒了就笑，自得其樂。同學，這就是你的幸福。

章小蕙與SKII

章小蕙已經離開香港到荷里活發展數年了，但大眾對她的印像仍被十年前的壞印像支配，說她妖冶，不安與室，害死人。其實章小蕙除了穿戴有品味，還有一個好處：她有蟑螂般的生命力，打不死。她現在在荷里活做製片，實現了要在銀幕上看見自己名字的目標，故此無論你著重過程還是鐘情成敗論英雄，你都必需承認她的能力。

章小蕙亦寫得一手好文字，我在氣餒時特別喜歡翻她的書，借一點力量。例如我重讀她打官私時堅持要sleep well and look extremely good，我便買了 SKII。屢敗屢戰不在話下，更重要的是死都要靚。

上一次用 SKII，不蓋你說，那是我的大學年代。對，我大學靠補習有一點收入。對對對，我認為女人保養要趁早。但廿歲時皮膚本身已經狀態大勇，進步空間有限，保養品不會帶來奇妙轉變。但三十歲就不同說法，這一次用了神仙水一個星期，美白效果立彰見影，原本曬得黑黑的皮膚淺了一度。最厲害是整張臉的膚色都均勻了，襯得眉毛更濃，五官更立體。

希望在用完這一支神仙水前，我能夠得到下一個工作上的神奇機會。

When there is a will, there is a way

I believe I will get what I want. Eventually.

Intensive Job Interviews, Intensive Failure

Normally I wake up at 12pm noon unless there is a job interview appointment scheduled in the morning. One day I woke up at 9am and managed to get myself sitting in front of this Private Banker who was about to open the Far East branch of the PB in three months' time.  This Private Banker is coming from all the way from the Balkans. He has a pair of blue eyes and talks with a strong accent. His first question was" Do you dance?"

-_-!

Then I went to the airport to attend another interview. It was 5pm and the girl from the recruitment team showed up several times at the room where I was abandoned for some very useless writing tests.  I thought she wanted to rush me because it was about time for her to call it a day. Anyway the writing was done and the hiring manager showed up. She took a glance at my resume and attempted to confirm with me a very basic and hardcore fact :" you said you last salary was HKD 3X thousand?" She continued :" 如果我知道我就唔會麻煩你黎. "

... just to name a few.

孓然一人

但人會老會病，１個月使１萬將來可能唔夠用，所以應該還未算是達到「真正的」財務自由

任何生活方式都有其代價。怕輸不起選擇獨身，看似自由自在。但沒有人愛你沒有人關心你，在你有困難時沒有人幫助你，甚至沒有人願意聆聽你，你就是孓然一人，你就是一個人去面對當下以至所有未知的困難，你比一個有人愛的人需要更多的安全感。而這些安全感需要你付出很大的代價：你需要n這樣多的錢，去應付n這麼多年的生活成本。別人是剝洋蔥般釋放自己，你卻是在結一隻越來越厚的繭去保護自己，因為，除了你自己之外，沒有人會保護你。

孤獨令你不自由。沒有愛，所以你不自由。

孓然一人